Two weeks ago, my world was upended. Late Friday afternoon I received an email from my company that all employees over 55 with greater than 10 years of experience were asked to consider a retirement package in which incentives had been added. I am part of that group. We were told that if we should choose not to take this offer, there may be more lat offs with lesser offerings. I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. I had planned to stay with this company until I was ready for retirement. Now, I realized that I would be with this company until they indirectly chose my retirement date for me. I will accept their offer voluntarily.
Their offer is generous but midst all of my friends’ congratulations, I feel sadness and anxiety about the future. I believe that we will be ok, but it has been an unwelcome surprise to me.
My company has been my home and they have been good to me. For that I am grateful. So, I am entering a new phase of my life earlier than expected. I am ready and we will survive this.
These job losses are common anymore. It’s the American Way. I now know how it feels to be the object of an incentivized retirement. My heart goes out to others like me. It’s a hollow and empty feeling which I just cannot take personally. May this company survive and thrive. I have been a proud member of this community for quite a while.
I will move forward and find other ways to give back to my community. I will volunteer and find other pastimes to keep me busy. It will be an adjustment but I can do it. I have confidence in myself. If I can merely survive this past 6 years, this is a lesser stressor, I will survive this.
Do you know anyone in your life’s circle who does things and you think, “That is just crazy!” ???
Let me give you an example:
You are ‘friends’ with this person and they tell you how much they like to go out and do things with you. They laugh with you and tell you how much fun you are. They compliment you and really seem to enjoy your company.
Next time you do something with them or approach them to do something, they are very cold. They say ‘yes’ and then don’t show up. They begin to not respond to your texts or messages.
Then, the next time you go with them, they are back to the way they were in the first instance. Laughing, joking and seeming to enjoy your company
These people and those like them are crazy-making!! Ditch them fast and don’t look back. They like to make you believe that the reason for their nutsy behavior is you!! RUN and don’t stop until you are far from them!! They put you through hell. Life is too short to experience these people.
Been there, done that
For nearly 8 years, I have been working this work-at-home job and I must say I never realized before how much of my social needs were met by co-workers.. I miss talking to people over the water cooler, at break time or at lunch time.
There are many advantages of working at home: 10 foot commute, less wear and tear on car, stay away from the office politics, less need for a spectacular wardrobe and longer sleep times during the night…but the social isolation is a major drawback!! I do make it a point to have lunches with friends on Saturdays, but my small group Bible Study consolidated and moved to a night where I must work.So, I no longer go to that Bible Study. I once belonged to a church choir, but dropped out of that organization last fall. I do have a husband who is a constant source of pleasure. He is retired. We have couple friends with whom we go to dinner with on Saturday nights. I always enjoy that.
I need to find new ways of connecting with people. My job as a telephonic health coach enables me to speak with people all day long, but these are clients, not friends. I have worked at the same company for over 15 years, so I have lots of vacation days and a higher salary, which is a plus. Hard to leave those benefits/salary!!
I once found a lot of pleasure in church activities but a conflict with someone there has been a never-ending source of sucking joy from my life.
I need to get out and volunteer to make new connections. Social isolation is not good for anyone.
My job may be lost soon because our company just sent out an email last Friday to all employees over 55 offering early retirement with a short severance pay package. If we decide to tell them we are willing to quit in the next couple of weeks, we will have some incentives to do so. If we do not quit, they may lay off people without this severance package. So, my social isolation may end soon. That may be a relief! Who would ever have thought that lay offs may have a silver lining!!
Looking forward to my pending retirement! It will be fabulous!
I was most vulnerable six years ago. That is when my life was made far worse by my own actions and by those whom I THOUGHT were my friends. Now, I am stronger and trying to rebuild my life. Am forgiving these friends for their betrayal and forgiving myself, as well. Looking forward to a new day dawning and more opportunities, joy and satisfaction.
This next Monday, I will meet with a former friend whom I felt hurt me the most. I hope we can work it out so I am not haunted every day by this great loss in my life. Moving forward is inspirational and I will do it. I am ready.
Pray for wisdom and courage and that I find the right words during our conversation. I want each of us to leave that meeting being heard and forgiven. With the help of God, we will.
Update: Unfortunately, he came to the table in prayer and then proceeded to blast me. He came to prove he was right and I was wrong. There was no grace, no soft words and no love. Why oh why would I ever wish to return to singing with them under those conditions and lack of grace. No positives discussed. Just ripped me open again. No thanks. There are other places I will go to use my gifts. I am strong but I am not stupid. I will go where I am appreciated and loved. I have much to give my world. I have love and grace and forgiveness for him though he does not want it. I will leave this curmudgeon behind to sulk in his vitriolic juices. I wish him well.