A friend is someone we can talk to and share experiences with and someone we can trust.We often become friends with someone that we see as similar to us. We don’t often become friends with others who we perceive as different than we are.
So, what are the magical ingredients which promotes friendship? Here are some of my ideas.
SHARED EXPERIENCES There is something about shared experiences which helps put a “we” together and precludes others who don’t share that experience. These experiences, when we have some of the same reactions and emotions, can draw people together. Or, just sharing fun times is a wonderful way to build close friendships.
SHARED VALUES People tend to like others whom they perceive as similar to themselves. It is easier to bond when core values are shared. My friends all had similar values to my own.
APPRECIATION Friendships can emerge as strong feelings are stirred when someone does something nice for another. An example is when someone cooks a meal for another when they are ill. There is a sense of gratitude and good will created toward the one bearing this gift. Good friends appreciate the positive characteristics of the other and tend to overlook some of the not-so-positive ones.
RESPECT Close friends don’t look down on each other. They feel like they are equals. They respect the similarities and differences and strengths and weaknesses in one another.
SHARING SECRETS A mutual revealing of something intimate about oneself can create affection and trust when these secrets are kept to oneself and not shared beyond the friendship.
ALLOW INTO OUR PERSONAL SPACE . Allowing someone into your personal space reveals a willingness to further permit someone to know you better. We don’t often lovingly touch our enemies. We rarely touch our enemies, in fact. Our friends often come physically closer to us than acquaintances or strangers.
LAUGHTER AND TEARS Friends are those which share some humor of the day with each other. Good times and serious times are shared in a friendship.
NURTURED TRUST Our best buddies are those we trust with our lives, our secrets, our emotions and our stories. Dependability and honestyand vulnerability are often part of this trust.
CHEMISTRY Two friends simply get along with each other and enjoy one another’s company without a set of stipulations governing that relationship. We don’t often seek friendships where there is no chemistry or bonding.
Of course, there is much more which promotes a feeling of friendship between two people. Friendships enrich our daily lives.
Be open to new people in your life circle. You may make a new friend. If you ignore them because they don’t seem to be like you, you may miss out on the start of a close friendship.